Ancient Egypt…..golden family life

ancient egypt ancient egypt

ancient egypt golden family life

ancient egypt

Marriage  was held in the utmost respect; it was an honorable partnership. Husband and wife were expected to live in equality and to demonstrate care and affection for each other. Couples generally mar- ried within their social class, although special rules applied among the upper class and particularly within the royalty where a man might take more than one wife, and where marriages between cousins and other close  (or  distant)  relatives often  occurred.  Unions  between  siblings took place only within royal families — the pharaoh’s firstborn daugh- ter often married her brother or half-brother — in order to preserve their regal bloodline.

In ancient egypt, couples affectionately referred to each other as “brother” or “sister.” During the New Kingdom, the word “sister” was synonymous with “dear,” or “wife.” This, no doubt, has led to the mod- ern  misconception  that  brother/sister  marriages  often  took  place among ordinary, non-royal Egyptians.

A wife — and then some

A pharaoh might have a chief wife and several lesser daughter- or sister-wives, in addition to many concubines. Ramses II had seven great wives, several lesser wives, and a harem full of legal concubines. The existence of harems is believed to go back to the Early Dynastic Period. Foreign princesses often became part of the harem, as political wives who were sent by their fathers to cement diplomatic alliances between the two rulers. Among his many wives (or hemetu), Ramses II married a Hittite princess from Tarsus (Turkey) in order to settle longstanding differences between the two countries. During the 18th Dynasty, both Pharaohs Tuthmose IV and Amenhotep I married Mitannite princesses (from  Syria).  Amenhotep took  several  wives, including  a  sister  of  a Babylonian king.

Harems  were  not  for  entertainment  and  politics  alone;  they helped ensure a supply of male heirs. However, they might also breed trouble. Those associated with or belonging to the harem of Amenem- het were believed to have been responsible for his demise; and it was a secondary wife named Tiye who brought on (or, at least, was held re- sponsible for) the death of Ramses III. During the Pharaoh’s 31st year of reign, he was the target of what came to be known as the “Harem Con- spiracy.” Tiye, with the help of 32 other conspirators, plotted to assassi- nate the Pharaoh in order for her son Pentewere to inherit the throne. The deadly scheme was exposed just before it was to be implemented; however, during the trial that ensued, Ramses III died, and Tiye and her accomplices were blamed for his death. Among the accessories to the crime were  several women from Ramses’ harem, plus state  officials, military men and even a priest. In punishment, these men and women suffered facial mutilation — and some were ordered by the royal court to take their own lives. Ramses IV assumed his rightful position as heir to the throne, as his father had intended.

Candidates for the harem also included dancing girls and other pretty females who had caught the pharaoh’s attention. Their mutual offspring could be counted among the royalty, or not, according to the pharaoh’s choice.

Girls were married early, between the ages of 13 and 15, and peas-

ant girls often married as young as 12; by 30, they were already grand- mothers. Young men were expected to take a wife as soon as they had the financial means to support their life together and raise a family.

While  marriage partners were occasionally chosen freely, most unions  were  arranged  by  the  future  husband  and  the  father  of  the young bride. Consent was, however, required of both the man and woman. Marriage was sealed with a contract that could later be an- nulled or terminated, in a form of divorce. During the Late Period, pre- nuptial agreements were drawn up and became quite popular.

No evidence has been found to prove that marriage ceremonies existed in ancient Egypt. A great celebration did take place, where the newlyweds received gifts and participated in festivities with family and friends honoring the marriage. The bride moved into the home of the new husband, which often included his family as well. The new bride assumed her role as “Lady of the House” or Nebet-Per. One can’t help but wonder about the dynamics in these new households, as the mother-in- law ceased to be recognized as the head of her household.

Until we part

Divorce was not common among the ancient Egyptians, but in the event, the ex-wife was entitled to keep what had been hers when she entered the marriage as well as a third of the couple’s joint property and possessions acquired while married. Custody of the children went to the mother (or mut). The divorce itself was a simple and private mat- ter, consisting of a statement to annul the contract and union, given before witnesses. Once this was accomplished, both partners were free to remarry.

If the wife had been unfaithful, she was not entitled to receive support; indeed, she was often sentenced to the painful and disfiguring punishment of losing her nose. Interestingly, affection was expressed by rubbing noses together, and the hieroglyph for the concept of joy, pleasure and a kiss, was a profiled nose. Since infidelity on the part of the wife would raise questions about the paternity of a child, women were liable to more severe punishment than men.

In the event of the husband’s death, the wife was entitled to two-

thirds of their communal property. The remainder was divided among the children, followed by the husband’s siblings. Prior to his death, a man might adopt his wife as a daughter (or sit) in order for her to in- herit a larger share — not only as a spouse but as an heir, as well.

Be fruitful

Providing a male heir was a wife’s primary duty, and failure to do so constituted grounds for divorce. Couples were encouraged to have children as soon as they were married. Children were considered to be the greatest blessing; they said that the gods smiled upon those who raised large families. Some families could boast of having 10 to 15 chil- dren. A house without the sounds of children’s laughter was frowned upon, and barren couples were expected to adopt, if necessary, to make up for the deficiency. How Ramses II must have been admired and re- spected — he is reckoned to have fathered at least 100 sons and 50 daughters!

If a couple already had many children and could not afford more, contraception was an option. A popular recipe consisted of plant fibers coated in a mixture of honey, sour milk, crocodile dung and natron. (Natron is found in the large deposits of sodium salts in the dried lake beds of Egypt, particularly at a site known as Wadi Natron, situated near modern Cairo. Natron was processed since Predynastic times.) Another recipe consisted of cotton soaked in a mixture of dates and acacia bark. The lactic acid acted as an effective spermicidal agent.

Conversely, if a couple had difficulty conceiving, they could resort to magic. Rituals consisting of having the hopeful mother squat over a steaming  potion of oil, frankincense, dates and beer. If she  vomited from the aromas generated by this mixture, she was thought to be able to conceive. If she did not, it was believed that the smell of the mixture had become trapped within the woman’s body, preventing her from conceiving.

A childless couple would pray to the deities for divine assistance. Letters were written and placed upon the tombs of departed relatives, asking the deceased to use their celestial influence with the gods. If all else  failed,  adoption  offered  the  last  alternative. Records  show that

adoption was quite popular during the New Kingdom.

Children were of utmost importance; they supported their par- ents in old age, while ensuring their immortality by providing a proper burial. In the event of the couple having difficulty conceiving a male child who would look after them when they advanced in age, the hus- band, with the consent of his wife, was granted permission to bring forth a child with a secondary or lesser wife, or even a servant or slave. The child, if male, would then be adopted by the father and his barren wife.  If  the  pharaoh  had  only  daughters,  succession  to  the  throne passed to the man the firstborn daughter would marry, or to a son (or sa) by another  wife. Such was the case of Akhenaten, who had six daughters and no sons by his chief wife, Nefertiti.

New brides often gave birth within the first year or two of mar- riage. An early pregnancy test consisted of passing water over reeds, to see if they germinated. If they did, then the woman was with child. An- other diagnostic method was practiced to determine the gender of the unborn baby. The mother passed water over wheat and barley. If the wheat sprouted first, the baby would most likely be a girl; if the barley sprouted first, a boy could be expected. If neither the wheat nor barley sprouted, she was not pregnant. Unfortunately, no records have been found to indicate the success rate of these methods!

Although a birth was a most joyous event, it was also considered

to be susceptible to many dangers, as pregnant women were thought to be vulnerable to evil spirits and demons; after all, the mortality rate both mother and child was high. One in three babies died at childbirth.

Before the highly anticipated moment arrived, the mother received the best of care and special treatment for about two weeks while being guarded by protective amulets and magical formulas.

Taueret was the guardian and goddess of expectant mothers. She had the body of a pregnant hippopotamus, the legs and paws of a lion, and a crocodile-tail headdress. Her image, in the form of a statue, was always visible during childbirth as she was prayed to and invoked for assistance and success in the delivery of the child. Bes, the merry dwarf god, also aided in keeping evil spirits away during childbirth. Heqet, the frog goddess of fertility and birth, was called upon during labor to

facilitate the process. Heqet was also known as a spiritual midwife.

Most mothers brought their children into the world in a squatting position, inside a birth box, at home. These were rectangular mud-brick boxes, about the size of a bathtub, with an opening at the end to allow entry. They were inscribed with images of powerful and protective dei- ties, as well as goddesses of childbirth, helping the mother to safely deliver the child. If the family was not wealthy enough to afford one, the expectant mother gave birth on the roof of the house; a modest ver- sion of the birth box consisted of two large bricks, set wide apart from each other, on a secure platform. In many temples, buildings called mammisseums were  constructed  on  the  sacred  grounds  where  Auset (Isis), the “Great Mother,” was portrayed on the temple walls giving birth to Heru (Horus.) At the mammiseum of the Temple of Denderah, images  are  inscribed  with  the  divine  union  between  Het-Heru  and Heru, resulting in the birth of their son, Ihy.

The mother was assisted by two midwives, representing the pro- tective guidance of Auset and her sister, Nebet-Het (Nephthys). To- gether, they performed a ritual of safety and healing while bringing forth the child. Clappers made of ivory, often carved in the shape of hands, were played to repel evil spirits. A protective circle with magical symbols was drawn around the mother, and later around the child, while sleeping.

Local  women  might  also  deliver  inside  a  birth  house  called a mammisi. After the successful birth, the mother remained in seclusion at the mammisi for two weeks of recuperation and special care. Then a feast was prepared and a great celebration took place, where the new mother received many gifts.

During the first three years, the child was nursed by the mother or a wet nurse, who was highly respected and regarded as a member of the family. The infant mortality rate was high, and many did not survive past the age of three or four when the protective milk of the mother or wet nurse was replaced by solid food, exposing the child to higher risks of infection and disease. Numerous graves of children, of about three years of age, have been discovered. One cemetery, at Deir el-Medina, contains over 100 graves of young children.

When an heir was born to the pharaoh, the afterbirth was pre-

served; it was perceived as the life force energy of the newborn child.

Few twins are known to have survived. One set of twin brothers, named Khnemuhotep and Neankhkhnemu, lived during the 5th Dy- nasty. They were so close that they were buried together in a vast tomb at Saqqara. Touching scenes of the brothers embracing each other cap- ture their closeness and mutual affection.

Children are the future

A child was not thought of as a person until a name was assigned, and so names were selected and given immediately after birth. Names were often based on those of deities, who were believed to protect the children whose names honored them. Examples include Meritaten (“Beloved of Aten”), Sitamen (“Daughter of Amen”) and Rahotep (“Ra is Satisfied”). Often, names were chosen in order to bestow upon chil- dren certain qualities that the parents desired — for instance, Neferho- tep (“Beautiful and Satisfied”) and Seneb (“Healthy”). Affectionate pet names for children such as Miw Sheri (“Little Kitten”) were also popu-

lar.

In the unfortunate event of a miscarriage, a child whose name al- ready had been determined would have access to the afterlife. Without a name, the infant would not be identified nor remembered by the gods. This was the equivalent of dying a second, permanent death, a death feared more than the first.

Among the lower classes, the mothers raised the children; in the upper classes, servants provide the day-to-day care. Children assumed their adult responsibilities early in life. Boys and girls followed different paths. Young boys learned a trade or craft from their father (or it), or from another family member or a craftsman, artisan, carpenter or pot- tery-maker. A boy was expected to follow in his father’s footsteps, and it was his sacred duty to give life to his father’s name after he had passed on to the world beyond.

Young girls received their training at home, as they helped around the house and, when needed, pitched in as well in the fields. From their mothers, girls learned domestic tasks such as cooking, sewing, weaving and cleaning. They also learned the arts of healing, dancing, music, and

singing. Girls were also taught the ways of nature, beauty and grace, as well as how to be an ideal wife and mother.

Upon the death of both parents, the son inherited the land while the daughter inherited jewelry, furniture and household items. She was entitled to the entire property if there were no sons in the family.

Only in the upper class could families afford to send their children to school. Children of the pharaoh were taught and trained in the royal palace classrooms. Often, specially selected children, usually the sons of officials and nobility, were permitted to study and learn with young royalty. These privileged children were taught by a personal tutor or a major scribe.

Other boys of upper class families were fortunate enough to be sent to temple schools, starting at around the age of eight. Whether trained in the royal palace or by the priests of the temple schools, young boys learned such virtues as good manners, honesty, humility, self- control and respect. Writing, reading and arithmetic were the three main scholastic subjects, followed by religion, history, literature and geography. However, the teachings of the temple schools were natu- rally geared towards a more religious rather than an academic orienta- tion. Many young scholars studied to become draftsmen, bureaucrats, or artisans as well as the most respected position of all, the scribe. The student would practice his lessons on ostraca (potshards or limestone flakes) — many such homework artifacts have been found, with correc- tions still visible. Ostraca were more expendable than the costly papy- rus that was laborious to produce.  It was every father’s dream to have his son escape the hardship of manual labor and become a scribe, as the possibilities were limitless and lucrative.

This chapter ends with a popular tale from ancient egypt, relating the close relationship between a father and son and the life lessons they learned. The High Priest and 11th son of Ramses the Great, Setna Khaemwast, and his wife had longed for a son. For years they prayed to the deities, without their wishes being granted. One night, a god ap- peared to the wife in a dream and provided her with a spell to conceive a son. She did as she was instructed, and soon became pregnant.

Once again the god appeared, in a dream, but this time to Setna.

He was told that this would be no ordinary child; and he was to be named “Sa-Ausar,” meaning “Son of Ausar.” Five years later, Setna took Sa-Ausar (as he was instructed in the dream) to study with the wise men at the Temple of Ptah. Sa-Ausar’s extraordinary abilities enabled him  to  master  hieroglyphs,  at  this  tender  age,  in  only  a  few  short months. The child became the most brilliant pupil the temple school had ever had the privilege of teaching.

One day, when the boy was seven, he and his father were startled by a commotion outside their home. They rushed to the window, and saw  a  magnificent funeral procession  for  a deceased nobleman.  The gilded coffin was being carried by a solemn procession of military offi- cials and temple priests, while professional mourners wailed alongside. A short distance behind, another funeral followed. This procession con- sisted of nothing but the body of a poor laborer, who was wrapped in simple straw mat and carried by his two sons, while his wife and daughter mourned by his side.

Setna turned to his son and said, “Even in death, how much hap- pier is the soul of a rich man!” The boy immediately answered, “I only wish for you to share the fate of the poor man.” These words shocked Setna and hurt him deeply.

The boy took his father’s hand and led him out into the streets and onto a ferryboat. This boat took them across the Nile into the City of  the  Dead,  in  the  western  desert  region.  With  words  of  power, chanted by the wise son, they entered the realm of the dead — as spec- tators. They looked on as the souls of the dead were being judged and they witnessed the torment of those who failed to pass the tests of Ma’at. A man dressed in the finest linen stood beside Ausar (Osiris), the Judge of the Dead, and the boy said, “Do you see that shining spirit? It belongs to the poor man, whom we saw in the most modest of funeral processions.” The poor man had been judged by the laws of Ma’at, and his myriad good deeds earned him his rightful place alongside Ausar. As for the rich man, Sa-Ausar explained to his father that he had been a cruel man with many selfish deeds behind him; he was locked up in the treacherous Underworld. So wise was Sa-Ausar that he knew the fate of the two dead men and, in wishing the fate of the poor man upon his father, he had wished him only the best.
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